I just returned from my niece’s wedding in Montana. It was beautiful, touching, and traditional. Nothing like this wedding party’s entrance!
Are you prepared for your soon-to-be college freshman to meet his or her new roommate? Or maybe your twenty-something is moving in with a friend to save some money in this tight economy. Just in case it turns into a nightmare situation, here are some tips from my book, My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy! in a feature on MSN Real Estate: Surviving 19 Nightmare Roommates.
I’m experiencing the empty next syndrome and my daughter is only 11. Isn’t this supposed to happen when she’s 18?! This summer has been a turning point in her social agenda and I’ve found myself high and dry. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve built a healthy life apart from her. But, it’s not nearly enough when she leaves at a moment’s notice. For the last two weekends, my husband has played in all-day golf tournaments and my daughter received last minute invites for the weekend. With no plans in place myself, I’ve felt a bit aimless.
There are plenty of things I want to do, namely travel and take classes. (I’m searching for an Improv class if anyone can make a suggestion!). The tough part is, these are things that take extended time and for the most part, I’m still my daughter’s driver. Therefore, my schedule gets dictated by hers. It’s just those out-0f-the-blue sudden absences when I need to fill the gap.
I’ve gone shopping and to the movies to fill the unplanned space. I was joined by plenty of other “single” women to see Eat, Pray, Love this weekend! My husband and I had an impromptu date when our schedules jived, and that was fun too. All my friends were busy, so everything else was done alone. I’ve decided I need to make a list of fun things to do alone, at the last minute, to use as my safety net.
I should thank my daughter for the early warning signs so I can plan ahead. If I waited seven more years to start preparing for my real empty nest, I’d really be lost.
If it had not been for some friends mentioning Pioneer Waterland to us, I never would have known this waterpark in Chardon existed. I took my daughter and a friend there yesterday and they managed to close the place down. It’s a great deal for the price.
In addition to three waterslides, lazy river, and swimming pools, they have batting cages, golf, basketball, Go-Karts and a really fun watergun game in which I got totally soaked. All of it is for one price, except the Go-Karts which are an extra $3. You can bring coolers and there’s a picnic area if you want to grill. Mondays are the cheapest ticket and you can buy next day tickets for a discount too. Buy online and pick them up at Will Call. Parking is $3. Enjoy!
I’ve come to realize I’m a very poor teacher of how to walk in high heels. Our 11-year-old daughter has her first pair of heels, a very short wedgie sandal, that she’s wearing to an upcoming wedding. Who knew that a lift of 1.5 inches would make her walk look like the Elaine Dance on Seinfeld? Literally, she puts the shoes on, and her body goes wacky! Meanwhile, I’m in the shoe store aisle coaching her to, “Glide, glide.” Not so much. I better practice my How-to-apply-makeup-speech while I still have time!
Oh no! Summer is running out and I barely had time to enjoy it. While school starting is a a different kind of celebration for Moms (Kid free zone ALL day!), I still want to enjoy these last few weeks with my daughter.
After watching chef Michael Symon on the Food Network give props to the beef jerky he likes at the West Side Market, our family decided to spend a morning hanging out there. It really is a blast. We bought two flavors of beef jerky from our friends at Mel’s and dill pickled flavored popcorn. I know it sounds odd, but it’s really, really good! I was overruled on the bacon bark – chocolate with hunks of bacon. Sounds good to me. On the next visit, I’m going for the wasabi stuffed olives. If your taste buds aren’t quite as daring, there’s plenty of traditional food.
It’s easy to take this Cleveland treasure for granted, but it’s so worth a family visit! What’s on your activity list for the last days of summer?
Yesterday’s Plain Dealer reported on yet another study regarding the trend of girls as young as 7 developing breasts and starting their menstrual cycles. This latest piece of research supports what has been documented for some time. We should all be alarmed by this for many reasons.
Girls are not emotionally mature enough to manage such physical changes at such an early age. Beyond starting dating relationships far too early, the changes affect girls’ friendships and sense of social belonging as for some, their physical appearance begins to set them apart. It’s thought that in an average third grade class, nearly 25% of the girls will be starting their period within the school year! Imagine being the teacher in that class and trying to manage such diverse emotional development rates!
While we know the trend exists, researchers have not pinpointed one cause. Hormones added to dairy products like milk could be one explanation. Another is growing obesity rates as fat cells help breasts develop. To that end, here’s one thing we can all do – help our children maintain a healthy weight. I’m asking you to do more than agree with me. Moms – it’s time for action and I have a plan for you!
Girls on the Run is a non-profit organization that teaches girls about health, friendship, body image, self-esteem, and community service, all through running. They need coaches, moms just like YOU to help. For all of you who are saying, “But I’m not a runner,” THIS IS FOR YOU! You don’t have to be a runner! You can be a walker too, it’s about moving.
I’m a volunteer coach at my daughter’s school and I can tell you, the experience is so rewarding! We participated in the end of season 5K, and to see the look on my girls’ faces as they passed the finish line – it was priceless!
Please, please, please, consider coaching and investing in young lives. Summit County GOTR needs coaches now for the fall season. For more information, call (330) 607-4110 or email SummitcountyGOTR@gmail.com.
When adult children move back home, it’s tough for everybody. If all goes well, your children act responsibly and are grateful for your help in getting them back on their feet. The key phrase is, “back on their feet.” In other words, the idea is that their time home is limited and they are doing all they can to return to the real world of independence. It’s when the opposite happens that a different type of help may be necessary.
Yesterday on Good Company, I discussed what to say if your adult children have turned into freeloaders. Watch the video here. It’s hard and disappointing because no parent wants to believe their children would take advantage of them, but some do. If that’s your situation, here’s an example of a conversation you must have with your son or daughter:
“I love you so much and I know you want to live on your own. I want that for you too. I realize I’ve been holding you back by doing too much for you. Because I believe you’re capable, I’m going to help you differently than I have in the past. I’m giving you a clear deadline in moving out (or other requirements like rent). If you’re not ready to meet these requirements, I trust you’ll find a different place to live at that time.”
Remember, when you do for your children what they should be doing for yourself, you’re reinforcing the message that you don’t believe they are capable.
Free rent. Is that what your twenty-something wants? Or what about free babysitting, housekeeping, and cooking for your adult children who had to move back home? If your empty nest is full again with your adult children (and sometimes their family) you know how challenging it can be. Maybe your kids really needed some help and are grateful, or maybe they are totally taking advantage of you.
Thursday on WKYC’s Good Company (10-11:00 am EST) I’ll be discussing how to set healthy boundaries when the kids move back home. If you have stories or questions to share, be sure to post them here. If you can’t watch, check back here and I’ll post the video for your comments.
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